In my family of origin, there were a lot of little details that were “traditions” we cherished during holidays throughout the year. At Easter, we Holmstrom’s took the obligatory photos dressed in our Sunday finest and with our baskets at our feet. At Thanksgiving, the dressing and sauerkraut played just as important a role as the turkey. Finally, Christmas morning gift opening always began with all four of us kids piled in our parent’s king-sized bed, digging through the stockings that Santa left before we explored what he left under the tree. Much of the rest – the bigger components that fill in a holiday experience, would be altered a bit each year to meet changing family member’s needs – varying locations, attendees and menus. We treasured it all, but we weren’t very prone to consistency.
My husband’s experience was a bit different. Many aspects of the holidays were a re-creation of the year prior – decorations, menu, guests and celebratory details were a great annual tradition. Change was eschewed, conceding to it only when absolutely necessary. The Schmidt family traditions run deep and long and are equally treasured.
As adults, we each continued our “holiday styles” in a similar manner, with my holidays moving with the ebb and flow of family member geography, the growing up of me and my three siblings, the loss of grandparents, the start of marriages and the birth of grandchildren. Andrew’s experience was a bit more steadfast and certain. Despite many of the same family changes over time, his family endeavored each year to keep every holiday the same at its’ core. Each style seemed to work for each of us….and then we got married! Cue the David Bowie music…”Cha-cha-cha-changes!”
So when we declared our full-time RVing plans and as Coronavirus descended upon our world, it quickly became apparent that our big holidays were going to be much different for a while. And so far, different they have been! Initially, I had one goal in mind – to make sure our kids all had a place to spend and enjoy each holiday no matter where we were in our RV.
We also intended to find enticing travel locations that might create a holiday option for any of our six children to visit if they wanted. Even though all our kids are now young adults, it was important to me that each of our kids had some holiday options. Despite all the intentions and planning, we realized much of it was beyond our control.
The inability to travel during a pandemic created a quiet heartache as treasured holiday time with our loved ones was relegated to texts, phone, and video calls. I have learned that Covid had a far greater impact on holidays than full-time RVing ever would. I expect to miss seeing most of my loved ones when I travel. But there is an added level of sadness when I know my stationary-living loved ones also cannot see and do most of the things they would like to do to celebrate.
So as we wrap up a year of Covid holidays and six months of living on the road, I am grateful for whatever time I can get with my loved ones. Brief visits with Ella, my college-student-youngest did happen – masks on and hugs withheld, before she had to return to her new “school home” in Gainesville, FL to work her part-time job at Walmart. It has become clear that holiday familiarity is suspended for a while as everyone’s adult responsibilities, Coronavirus, and our geographic distance take their toll on our family, like so many others.
It was our thought that our other children and parents, all currently based out of Maryland and Pennsylvania, would have family members nearby to give them a “holiday home”. Unfortunately, with Covid, that couldn’t always happen. My two older kids both work every day in high-Covid-risk food service environments, so Covid really prevented them from being able to do much holiday visiting at all, in an effort to keep other more Covid-vulnerable relatives safe. Instead, my oldest, Adalie, delivered Thanksgiving dinner from her place of employment to her brother, Lorne, since they both worked through the extended Thanksgiving weekend. Lorne made a pumpkin pie and visited a local friend’s family. They had recently lost their son/brother and it was important to him to help fill their holiday with some happiness.
Andrew’s children each varied their own plans slightly, knowing that we could not all be together this year. Christy was moving into a new apartment and kept busy with her boyfriend and his family. Ben and Abby, still living at their mother’s home, had a place for a more traditional, albeit, smaller Thanksgiving.
Our mothers each had perhaps the most challenging Thanksgiving celebrations of all of us. My mom spent her first Thanksgiving as a widow, having just moved out of her home of 55 years – and into her own adorable in-law suite in my sister and brother-in-law’s home. My mother-in-law spent her first Thanksgiving ever without anyone else at the table. Our moms enjoyed meals provided by our siblings, but the holiday differences most certainly were the dominant theme. We all did our best exchanging calls, texts and special flower deliveries, but watching all these changes unfold was certainly the most difficult part of the holiday to navigate.
Our Thanksgiving had some really nice moments despite all the limitations. Andrew and Ella and I enjoyed a pot-luck meal hosted by the campground where we were staying, so I was able to cook our favorite dishes, without having the full load of a turkey and a dozen side dishes. We ate at a picnic table at our campsite, with a tablescape of seashells, pine cones and mini pumpkins. Instead of hosting 15 – 20 guests, our family-of-three walked off our meal on the beach of Tybee Island, GA on a warm afternoon, exchanging “Happy Thanksgiving” greetings with strangers instead of our parents and most of our children, all of whom we missed dearly.
Christmas was a repeat of a similar scenario. We met Ella at a campground on the gulf panhandle in Carrabelle Beach, FL for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It was a treat that included long walks on the pure white sand, collecting seashells and walking the dogs. I made many of Ella’s favorite meals and put all my “Mom efforts” into her, unable to host or dote on any other kids or parents. Facetime and Zoom meetings replaced a trip to someone’s house for a day-long visit. Gifts were mailed, with a hope, but little expectation that the USPS was going to deliver in time. It was quiet. It was relaxing. It was still lovely. But It was very, very different.
By the time our second Covid-impacted Easter rolls around and we wrap up a year of traveling-holidays, I am not sure that much will be “back to normal”. We hope the Covid vaccine will be widely available by then so that flights can be booked and larger gatherings of loved ones from different households are once again safe. But if it isn’t, I know it will still be okay, despite the differences. The holidays have to change every year, but the core of every holiday will always be the same. These important days of the year are about sharing love, and we will all find new and different ways to share that love with those we love and miss.
Safe travels – and happy holidays all year-round, wherever you are planted!
The gallery of photos shared below is a walk down memory lane from the 1950s thru the present, showing how our families and our family traditions have evolved over the years. It is a digital family photo album of resilience and love.
