Month: October 2021

Part III of our great Montana adventure is what has been promised by me to be the best.  But the amazing adventures we had were expansive!  More importantly, there were two distinct and important things that happened…so much so, that I am breaking this down into two posts.  This post is all the loving, romantic stuff and my NEXT post is all the touristy stuff we did with our loved ones that were visiting.  It was some of the best fun of our summer.

THIS is “Our Montana – The BEST Of ‘The Last Best Place'”; It is the loving, romantic stuff that made summer spectacular!

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Christine and Chris didn’t always love each other but that was simply because they did not yet know each other.  Years later, it is now very clear that “each other” is exactly what their souls were always looking for.  

There was a time when they actually thought they each loved someone else.  When those first relationships ended, both were left a bit smacked with pain from an aching heart and a realization that despite their efforts, they had gotten it really wrong.  Thankfully, in a world full of free will that allows us to screw it up all along the way, God has a way of steering us in the way He wants us to go.

Christy was working an extra job as she ended her relationship and had recently moved in with her dad and me (her reluctant step-mother), to get her life back on stable ground.  She was emotionally fragile, as one might expect, and unsure how things had gotten so far off her life’s plan.

Chris and his father were regular customers at the little indoor/outdoor bar at a local driving range where Christy had started working to pick up much needed money and to keep herself as busy as possible to numb the hurt she felt.  The simple little bar served only bottled beer and single serve bottles of wine, and provided a fun backdrop for a business that entertained customers with a driving range, mini-golf course, batting cages and occasional live music and food trucks.  Chris and his father formed a fast friendship with Christy, aware of her relationship, but unaware of its looming end.  

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Once the end of her failed relationship was apparent and official, Chris’ feelings for Christy became apparent as well.  She would come home with a smile on her face because of new friendships she was making, as well as tears caused by the turmoil of going through the end of a seven year commitment to someone that turned out to not be the right person, despite her best efforts.  She was learning that loving relationships require bi-directional fidelity and hard work to be successful. 

Still reeling from the shock of what had just ended, and in learning that most of her friends and family had shared a belief that the relationship was troubled from the start, she lacked confidence in her ability to discern what and who was best for her.  She filled her sad days with work from several jobs (bartender, dance teacher/choreographer, yoga instructor and eventually work in a dental practice) and a little casual dating to quell the ache in her heart.  Chris would have to wait a bit longer for something more.  She was learning that in order to find a lifelong love, you must be ready for it with an open heart and willingness to be vulnerable.

Over time, and with a lot of evening discussions with her dad and me about men and boys, feelings and falsehoods, Christy began to see that this young man who had entered her life had some amazing qualities.  We could all see his goodness.  To his credit, Chris wasted no time letting Christy know that he felt like she was someone he might very well spend a lifetime with.  At the same time, he was confident and patient as she stepped through the challenges of a scarred heart.  Christy was learning that as long as she did the work on healing herself, God would protect her and lead her in the direction of love.

She used her time at home with us to clean up the naturally occurring devastation that broken relationships can bring.  She dug herself out of debt, got on a tight budget and improved her career to seek a healthy and inspiring balance between necessary monetary earnings and pursuing her passions.  

Being a part of our home was also a way for her to build relationships with those of us that cared about her well-being but who had been on the outskirts of her life for quite some time.  As she was a child of divorce, our shared willingness to really talk about the tough stuff in all aspects of life brought about a healing of family relationships that had been forcibly broken, or in our case, had not yet even had a good chance to form.  

Finally living together in a loving household allowed great relational growth for everyone within its walls.  Christy and her step-siblings (of only three years at the time) began to form a wonderful fondness for each other.  She and I mutually benefited as well, talking and laughing and cooking (and a little drinking, truth be told) for hours.  We talked about (almost) every subject that had caused us pain over the years and we received a gift that was at first, mutual respect, then led to a friendship that ultimately turned into a special adult bonus-mother-daughter love.  

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But the treasured outcome of the months that Christy lived with us was a healing of her relationship with her dad.  Her willingness to forgive past pain and his willingness to take her as she was, provided needed healing after ten years of emotional and physical distance.  Christy was learning that you are most prepared for a lifetime with a partner when you have the experience of a family around you that is communicative and supportive of each other and your new love relationship.

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Before too long, Chris and Christy were officially “boyfriend and girlfriend” and she came home a bit happier each day, more confident in her emotions and more understanding of what she was learning about herself in the aftermath of a twice-shattered life.  

Our mistakes in life are sometimes just lessons that we need to learn.  The pain we feel is sometimes just God’s blessing in disguise.  Chris and Christy learned from their difficult life experiences and found tremendous blessings with each other at the other end of their pain.  Of this, we are certain.

So it was with humble hearts that we were able to be such an important part of the next big step of their lives several years later.  It was this past May, after we had been travelling full-time in our RV for nearly nine months that we rolled up our RV to visit our loved ones and our hometown states of Pennsylvania and Maryland.  It was here that Chris found a quick moment to ask Andrew if he could have Christy’s hand in marriage!  We had happily anticipated that this was the direction that their relationship was headed, but making it official was both a treasured tradition for the father, and a show of great respect by the future son-in-law – something that we appreciated greatly.  The next day, Chris followed up with us on a phone call, simply to express his love and appreciation for Christy and for us.  He further shared that he would like to propose to her when they visited us in Montana in late August/early September.

As we made our way through June, July and August, and through the states of Colorado, Wyoming and Idaho, the excitement grew for Montana, already a state on the top of Andrew’s list of favorite states he had NEVER seen!  We shopped in little cowboy towns and picked up a beautiful engagement card for the happy couple.  We scoured stores for a set of glassware to be etched with their monograms.  We even picked up some Montana “fan swag” to give to them, knowing that if she said “yes”, that Montana would quickly rise to the top of their list of favorite states as well!  

So excited was I for the happy turn that Christy and Chris’ lives were going to take, that I told our little secret to a couple of store clerks along the way.  These total strangers shared in our glee and loved to hear how this young man had chosen such a special destination to pop the most important question of his young life.

About a week and a half before their arrival in Montana, Chris called Andy again. 

“Could you help me find a great hike we can take that ends at a beautiful place?  I would like to propose to Christy there”, Chris said with a casual confidence that belies his young age.

“Absolutely!” Andrew responded with confidence.  We were happy to have some direction, because the anticipation of this big event, with no idea of any details, had been harrowing to a couple of parents wanting only the best for a very loved daughter and future son-in-law.  Now Andrew had a big job to do in picking a location that was proposal-worthy in Glacier National Park. 

Chris went on to say, “I really want to do this right after we arrive.  I am so excited and don’t want to wait.  Can we take the hike on Wednesday”?  Now we had a date as well!  September 1st, 2021 was the day that my bonus daughter was going to experience one of the happiest days in her life.

Now Andrew had some research to do, and we both had some important visitors to plan for.  While the options are endless in a place as beautiful as Glacier National Park, the leading contender quickly became Avalanche Lake, which is about a 4.5 mile hike (9 miles round trip) that began at the Trail of the Cedars and went to the end of Avalanche Trail, with a 730 foot elevation gain.

Upon arrival at the airport, Chris slid the ring to Andrew for safekeeping in a rolled up ball of (clean) socks and we casually “suggested” to our visitors that we take an afternoon hike the next day; and just like that, the plan was fully in motion.  The next day we spent the morning relaxing at the campsite around a campfire and pretending to be relaxed when everyone there but Christy had nerves of anticipation gurgling in their stomachs.  We were all feeling the pressure of pulling off such a special feat.

The first glitch we hit was parking.  Despite the late afternoon hour, the crowds were still large and parking was hard to find near the trailhead.  Christy, always supportive, said “that’s okay, we can just come back at a better time tomorrow”.  I said a silent prayer to Saint Francesca Xavier Cabrini, (whose remains were buried next to a car park in New York, making her the patron saint of parking spaces!).  Andrew strengthened his resolve and assured us all that we would find a spot NO MATTER WHAT.

Prayers answered, and after an additional .8 mile hike down the Going To The Sun Road to arrive at the trailhead, we embarked excitedly on a magical forested trail.  It began on a boardwalk, in an area that was filled with wetlands, including ferns, moss and trickling waters all around us.  It seemed like a setting right out of a fairytale, where little gnomes might pop out from behind a tree stump at any moment.  There were of course towering red cedars, but we also saw giant hemlocks, cottonwoods and spruce trees.  It was as if we were hiking in the Pacific Northwest, with some trees that have thrived in this protected climate for more than 500 years.  

The afternoon air grew cooler as we ventured farther into this miraculous looking forest, now excited about the magical place around us as much as the anticipated climax at the end of the trail.  We passed some falling waters from Avalanche Creek into a deep gorge full of blue water that pooled and swirled among the massive rocks.  We walked through an area where a 2010 avalanche and a 2011 microburst had twisted massive trees to the ground all around us.  We stopped occasionally simply to gaze into the forest and out upon the mountainous horizon of Logan’s Pass.  We received words of encouragement from fellow hikers returning from our destination, assuring us that the uphill effort was well worth the end that was now nearly in sight.

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In the final yards of the hike, the terrain changed noticeably.  The trees became smaller and farther apart, and more wildflowers and smaller plants were springing out of the ground to absorb the additional sunlight that made its way to the earth.  We all grew quieter, and as we stepped down to the beach of Avalanche Lake, where we were immediately awestruck by its magnificence.  Photos never seem to do Mother Nature justice.  Before us was a massive lake, fully surrounded by vast wilderness, and towered over by mountains that provided an incredible backdrop.  

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The stones on the ground at the lake’s edge were smooth and in many sizes laid out on the soft ground, where perhaps we saw a couple dozen other hikers spread out across the shoreline.  Some sat and ate a picnic.  Another hiker was journaling quietly while sitting on a log.  Still others chatted with fellow hikers, sharing in the experience.  It was quiet, as we all spoke in hushed tones, almost as if we felt that an extra bit of reverence was important in such a special place.

As we strolled along the edge of the lake, we snapped up photos and pointed out the varying views that surrounded us.  After a bit, Christy decided that she would remove her hiking boots and socks and roll up her pant legs so that she might immerse her feet into the chilled waters that are fueled all summer by melting snow and glaciers.  Off she went, smiling and playfully posing in various warrior yoga poses in the shallow water.  I heard a person behind us that was likely a yogi himself, giving her a shout of support and camaraderie causing her to smile again.

Andrew and I took more photos as she immersed herself in the glory and beauty around us all.  Watching his girlfriend, Chris then said casually, “Christy, turn around and face the water in that pose.  It will make a really cool photo”.  She was happy to oblige his suggestion and as she turned her back to us all, Chris walked to the water’s edge and got down on one knee.

Andrew continued snapping photos at a feverish pitch.  I tried (and failed) to operate my phone to take video of what was unfolding but found that my nerves overcame me.  I heard a couple of people in the background notice what Chris had just done and they audibly commented “oh look” and “look at him”.  Christy continued to hold her yoga pose, oblivious to what was happening behind her and thrilled in the moment that we had made it to this place.

In what seemed like minutes, but was perhaps only 10-15 seconds, Christy turned around toward all of us.  In that moment, all she saw was her boyfriend, kneeling, and with arms extended holding a little box.  It seemed she might fall over, as her hands covered her mouth and she bent forward in shock and surprise.

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No one was close enough to hear the quiet words that were spoken, but we were told that any speech that Chris had practiced in his head immediately disappeared in that moment.  Instead he spoke only the words that needed to be spoken, and seconds later, Christy, already sobbing and visibly shaking, nodded her head in response to Chris’ question.

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A few applause broke out among our fellow hikers spread out along the beach with us, a few cheered, and I found myself reporting on what just happened by yelling, “She said YES”!  Christy and Chris came together in a long embrace, sealed with a kiss, and consummated with an absolutely beautiful diamond ring being placed on her finger.

Eventually, the newly engaged couple made their way toward us to settle in by a some logs on the beach, where we broke out a small bottle of champagne and four disposable “glitter cups” to make a toast.  We snacked on trail bars and were entertained by some very friendly chipmunks who came out to wish the happy couple well (and perhaps to see what crumbs we might drop).  Several other hikers congratulated them and the proud parents that had just been given the gift of witnessing such a special moment.

After lingering on the beach for a while longer, we were reminded that our hike was only halfway complete, and we began the trip back before it got too late.  Andy and I hung back a bit, relieved that it all worked out so well and watched Chris and Christy ahead of us, chatting excitedly and holding hands as they meandered the trail back into the darkening forest.

As if the magic of the day wasn’t enough already, it seemed that the fairytale theme continued as all the forest animals came out to bless the newly engaged.  We saw a woodpecker working diligently on a tall cedar and more chipmunks and a little ground mouse scurrying on the forest floor.  We also saw a momma deer and her two fawns snacking on the nearby leaves, only feet from us.  They allowed us to watch them for a while, living simply and peacefully in this eastern edge of the Pacific Northwest rainforest. 

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It took a couple hours to make our way back to our vehicle, and it was another six mile drive before we turned toward the exit of Glacier National Park and toward West Glacier Village, where our phones finally found cell service which allowed Chris and Christy to begin calling all the relatives back east to share the big news (Chris had given all parents and step-parents secret advance notice of the planned day, so they all were waiting excitedly to get the official notification).

The rest of the days that Chris and Christy visited us were terrific.  We saw many beautiful places and drove to interesting new locations both inside and outside the national park.  We shopped in West Glacier Village and shared some good meals together.  As the visit came to an end, Andrew and I quietly counted the days when we expected to see any of our children again (after all, with Chris now becoming part of our family, we will be adding one more to our brood of six young adult children).

“We will see you in mid-October.  We will be back east to visit then,” Andy told his daughter, who was already getting teary-eyed at the airport with the anticipated goodbye.  They exchanged a VERY long hug, which is a trademark Schmidt sign of affection, cried some more, and then the officially betrothed couple went quickly through security and out of sight for their long travel day home to Pennsylvania.

Andy was immediately quiet and melancholy on the way out of the airport and during the 30 minute ride back to our campground.  When we got home, I gave him a hug and asked him how he was feeling after having such an experience with his daughter and her fiance’.

He was visibly choked up, and in his typical emotive style said “it was such a great visit…and I am so sad because [it reminded me how] I missed out on so much of their childhoods.”  In the end, sharing in the experience of Christy and Chris’ engagement was a blessing to both Andrew and me and a truly healing moment for him.  

Losing out on much of the parenting of his children and living a large part of their childhoods without their dad became a significant loss that changed all of them deeply.  Incredibly special moments like a hike to one of the most beautiful places on earth, where young love makes its official start, went a long way to healing hearts and brought us together as a family.  As we have all come through our individual suffering in life, we can clearly see God’s blessings, and perhaps a purpose for the pain.  We count the love found between Christine and Chris to be among the greatest gifts He has given our family and for that we give thanks.

Blessings

by Laura Story